By the end of high school, I was in such a bad place I barely made it to graduation. Saying I felt like a failure and that I had accomplished nothing is an understatement. I was just grinding my way through life when someone told me “you could write a book one day and become an author” I scoffed a sarcastic “yeah… ok” back at them, rolling my eyes. I had no idea of my value or what I could be capable of.
Through my healing journey I had been learning my identity and self-worth, when someone different said they “could see me writing a children’s book” however this time I thought well maybe I can dream but still… it seemed so impossible. Years went by with this dream in the back of my mind. Then, I was helping my son with his own struggles at bedtime and being afraid when an idea began to grow in my mind.
His fear was all the unknown things that come with the darkness, like… what’s that sound or what’s that shadow. I spent so many nights with him standing in his room or outside explaining to him what was causing the sights and sounds that were tormenting him. Once he knew they were caused by harmless things like croaking frogs or wind through branches, he was no longer afraid. And so, Fear, as a character who plays these tricks was created.
I wrote “Fear… Do as I say and go away” and read it to my son, just printed text on paper, unedited, no pretty pictures, but he still loved it. A few days later he said in the morning, “mum I got scared last night and I just said fear, do as I say and go away, then I wasn’t scared anymore” words can’t explain how I felt in that moment, I was so proud of him but also so proud of myself. I felt like I had actually accomplished something and helped my son at the same time.
That dream of writing a children’s book grew into having it published and helping someone else’s child in the same way I had helped my own. Speaking that out and having faith, using positive affirmations and just believing that the impossible is possible, has to be the start of striving for your dreams, negativity produces nothing. Now… Being in the process of making that dream a reality feels so rewarding in itself. I am truly blessed to be working with my best friend, a talented artist, who has fully illustrated my book. As well as, such supportive friends and family behind me who want to see my dreams come true.
The part I am most excited about is just being able to show my sons that, it doesn’t matter how much you think you have messed up your life or if you think you’ve failed and its too late in life to achieve anything. If you have faith, and put your heart, mind and soul into your dreams, you can make them come true and it is NEVER too late. Never too late to dream, never too late to start fresh, Never too late change your life into what it always should have been.
Managing Mayhem 